A Chewing Gum database

Anytime that gum is sold,
I propose a move that’s bold.
Take a swab before we pay,
to get the “Chewer’s DNA.”

Place it in a data base –
discarded gum we can now trace.
Step on it in blinding heat,
flattens out while on the street.
If it makes it to our pad,
goes everywhere and that is bad!

Now would be a fool proof way,
to see offenders have to pay,
for spitting out or sticking it,
in places walked or daily sit.

Punishment to fit the crime,
probably including slime,
in their clothes and on their shoes,
and other places that we choose.

Repeat offenders – hope there’s none,
would have to chew one’s twice used gum,
and then to boot  – behind their ear –
they’d have to keep it one whole year!

Print Friendly, PDF & Email