What am I Worth?

I view Me a Common Schmuck,
just Like same and With some Luck,
I ground Out a Common Wage,
Retirement is Now my Stage.

Did the Things was Supposed to Do,
save some Bucks – Insurance Too.
My family Would not go Broke,
if One day I up and Croke.

Now the Income’s kind of Light,
Reality’s become my Blight.
as I struggle to Survive,
my Worth’s more Dead than is Alive.

 

Elections by the Pound

Perhaps themselves They have to Blame,
Politicians by a Name.
Vows for Votes they Hope to Git,
some Might call it Pure Bull S—t!

Take Away the Urge to Lie,
Negate the Need to even Try.
Accumulate Bull by the Pound,
tally Up how Does that Sound?

Throw out Rallies – wasteful Ads,
keep the Goods – Toss out the Bads.
Who gets the Most is the proud Owner,
brings New meaning to a Donor.

A time Limit should be Set,
a Deadline most surely Met.
The largest Pile of Bull will Win,
glorious S—t Eatin’ Grin.

Of course There must be basic Rules,
from Doggy Poop to Dung of Mules.
only From the U.S.A.,
no Imports for Scales to Sway.

Election Day the Truth is Shown,
a Turnout not Overblown.
No Pot Shots – no Need for Swears,
the Winner’s B.S. proudly Wears.

 

To me Marriage is:

Bathrooms that Stink,
a Special Wink,
Seeing life’s Dishes pile Up in the Sink.

Baggage you Share,
Embrace and not Scare,
Showing the Other you’ll Always be There.

Ecstasy Run,
when Coupled as One,
Sleeping the Wet Side when it is Done.

Cherish the Wins,
Forgiving the Sins,
committed Together through Thick and the Thins.

Shocked that the Past,
has Flown by so Fast,
Sharing your Love to Beyond the Last.

Mood Swings

Mother Nature’s not Demure,
swings from Perfume to Manure.
Paradise to Tragic Mess,
her Bad Moods sure cause Distress.

Toothaches, Migraines, missing Sleep,
when She’s angry it ain’t Cheap.
Perhaps the Answer’s not a Drug,
let’s Just try a Simple Hug.

I would Be the First to Give,
but Where does Mother Nature Live?

“Super Shaker Carpet Cleaner”

Our Dog wakes with Bad Bed Hair,
most Strands pointing Everywhere.
A couple Shakes is just Enough,
to bring Her to Her normal Fluff.

Great ideas In strangest Places,
most of Them from Common Faces.
This will Change your Chore Demeanor,
“Super Shaker Carpet Cleaner.”

By Remote or Auto Set,
shakes the Dirt out you can Bet.
added Feature that is Great,
the Furniture would Levitate.

Once the Dirt is in Suspension,
one more Add-on I should Mention.
Big Dust Sucker on your Roof,
Great Invention – need more Proof?

Even is a Burglar Setting,
Sucks them out Into a Netting,
Helium balloon Inside,
they’re Floating high so They can’t Hide.

Watch for Ads in Coming Days,
how to use It in More Ways.
And I’ll always Stay on Top,
of Great Ideas that Never Stop!

I’m changing my AGE

Has the Fountain of Youth got You in a Bind?
Some who might Say it’s just State of Mind.
Perception is Key to Reality Be,
I’ve got the Answer that’s Working for Me.

Dogs have it Ruff when Racking up Years,
Seven to One don’t Bring many Cheers.
“Decades” the Counter that I’m going With,
feeling much Younger – Seven and a One-fifth.

 

“CeeeMeee” from Outer Space

“CeeeMeee” from space is making a trip,
picked out a place – fueled the space ship.
Stocked up with items of value and worth,
set a course heading straight for our earth.

Studied the languages of all the places,
set for the visit along with their faces.
Took quite a while to translate it all,
and some of their words got an overhaul.

Did their homework and certainly glad,
beamed up a phone but not an iPad.
Earth People spent a lot of time Texting,
in CeeeMeee’s world just called it Spexting.

Letters they used were almost the same,
when CeeeMeee arrived would be in the game.
Thought the Earth People a little bazaar,
resigned to accept them just as they are.

Lots of texts ended with brief “LOL”,
why “eat their grapes while stuck in a well?”
Of course there were those who wrote “BFF”,
the meaning to CeeeMeee “a tall purple chef.”

Saw quite a few with “X’s and O’s”,
why would they eat “spaghetti toes”?
Some would be brief with just “TLC”,
don’t understand “rain boots on a bee?”

When CeeeMeee arrived no one gave a moan,
all were too busy watching their phone.
Colliding with buildings – falling in water,
Mom or the Dad – Son or the Daughter.

At last CeeeMeee left and headed on back,
yet our way of texting could not get the knack.
But took a learned skill that was really neat,
while CeeeMeee was here – picked up how to Tweet.

 

 

Left or Right?

Left or Right – Right or Wrong,
Feelings Slight or Feelings Strong.
Strapping pants On in this Case,
or Something else In their Place.

Shoes or Armpits – Politics,
labels to It can Affix.
Decisions Made – Live with Them,
Consequences for sure Stem.

Pants are Old just like Me,
Experience is What I See.
Sit down First it’s not a Crime,
both Legs go in at one Time.